I know that I am leaving for China one week from tomorrow. I just haven't realized it yet. I've already begun packing just to try to get my mind processing that I'm leaving, but not much is working.
I'm not a huge fan of these transition times, and yet I've had them more and more frequently lately. It's the I-know-I-am-going-to-have-a-hard-time-saying-goodbye-but-I-just-can't-seem-to-make-that-thought-stick feeling that comes just before a big transition. For me it's moving to a new continent. For others, it could be a recent death or job/financial uncertainty. Whatever it is, it's not a good realization to come to: that you are in denial.
I wish I had some appropriate words to say that show how much I have learned through these experiences. I wish I had some wise words to impress you all with my maturity for my age. I don't. In fact I'm feeling rather ridiculous because I seem to have learnt nothing in my repeated encounters with this particular breed of denial. Maybe this time will be different, even though I am beginning to expect that time is the only real way to get it into my head that I'm leaving.
One week. Humph. It may as well be a year.